LANGST (Trigger warning)
by My Life Aesthetic is Memes
Summary: (Oh my god I am so, so sorry.) Keith wakes up and notices Lance isn't in bed.


I'm so sorry to anyone who reads this. My depression hit me really bad suddenly and I promised not to relapse. This is the only way I can take my emotions out on something and help me calm down. I swear I love these two. I'm sorry my babs ;(

Also: trigger warning. I am so sorry.

(Ps. I wrote this at midnight, so I apologize for any errors and if my paragraphs are too long)

-In which Keith wakes up to find Lance missing from the bed.

Klangst

Keith woke up to soft sobbing from the bathroom and Lance gone from the bed, and his heart sank. It had been getting bad again and Keith knew it, but he desperately hoped it wasn't. He stood carefully, glancing at the clock he kept next to the bed with concerned eyes. It read 1:15 am. It was early. Too early. Keith walked over to the bathroom and hesitated before knocking softly, tilting his ear to the door.

"...Lance? Is everything alright?" He could hear Lance trying to stop crying, hear the uneven breaths coming from his lips, hear it when he sucked in a breath and held it for as log as he could. He hated it, the way Lance cried. He choked himself, suffocated himself in hopes that it would stop. He would hold his breath as long as he possibly could without taking a breath. Keith hated it. He knocked again, voice stronger when he spoke. "Lance. Lance, talk to me. Please." No response, no sound at all. Keith was getting more worried still when he heard it. A small, sharp, metal clang of something hitting the ground. His heart stopped. No. Lance had promised. He had promised it was in the past and that he was over it. Heart beating in his chest, he tried the door handle. "Lance! Lance, let me in please! Lance, don't lock me out… I just want to help!" There was still no sound except for the occasional sniffling from Lance. Keith's eyes were wide in concern, limbs shaking. He knew he wasn't good at emotional stuff, and he knew he wasn't the most observant person around, but he should have noticed. He should have noticed Lance was suffering, Lance was upset, Lance was relapsing. His throat was dry and tears were threatening to fall from his dark purple eyes. He tried the handle one more time before sliding down the door and sitting against it. "...Lance. Lance, please. Just let me help. ….I'm worried, Lance. Please." Keith waited a few moments, head tucked forward when he heard the lock turn. He stood up quickly, opening the door to see Lance standing there, tears cascading down his face. His blue eyes were bloodshot and his tan skin was blotchy. His lower lip trembled slightly, as did his hands. Especially the one holding the knife. Keith bit back a gasp and grabbed Lance's chin, looking into his emotionless, almost dead bloodshot eyes. "Lance. Lance, tell me. Where was it this time? Please, we need to treat them." Lance didn't respond for a moment, trying to comprehend the words in his hazed mind, then he let out a breath and spoke softly, oh so soft and brokenly.

"T-thighs… it was the thighs.." Keith nodded and brought Lance over to the bed, removing his pants and sitting him down so he could see better. Many deep and bleeding cuts were on his thighs, at least 10 on each one. Blood had gathered from the wounds and was slowly dripping down his leg. Lance made no move to acknowledge that Keith was looking at the cuts he himself had inflicted with the large knife he had brought from earth. Keith withheld his tears, instead standing up to grab bandages, warm water, washcloths, and wraps to treat the wounds. While he was facing away from Lance, he let a single tear fall before recovering and moving next to Lance, slowly washing and treating the wounds. Lance would never let Keith take him to the healing pods he knew, Lance would be too afraid of everyone's reactions.

After treating the cuts and wrapping them, he sat in front of Lance, on his knees and looking up into Lance's face. "...Lance, what happened? Tell me okay? I'll listen… I promise." Lance froze at that, eyes scanning over his face desperately, looking for deceit. When he found none, Lance's eyes widened before he shut them tightly, hands clenching together as tears started escaping. His choked and broken voice ripped through his throat, layers is sadness on disgust on self loathing apparent when he spoke.

"Keith… I-I'm such a screw up Keith… I can't do anything right! Ev-everytime we go out, I'm always the one that drags the team down, I'm the one who gets injured. I'm the burden! No one sees it… I'm the reason we fail at everything Keith. I j-just can't handle it. I'm a failure. I'm baggage… you don't need someone like me around you Keith! You don't need me! I'm a fuckup! I don't deserve to be happy, I don't deserve to be with you guys. I don't deserve to be alive, Keith."

Keith froze at those words, face scrunching up into indescribable pain. He stood up and pulled Lance into a close hug because no matter how much he hated being touched, Lance needed this. He needed a hug. He needed so much more. "No Lance. Lance listen to me, okay? You deserve to be here, you deserve to be happy. You may have bad luck and you may get injured a lot, but that's because you take the shots meant for the team. You make sure they stay safe. You keep us together. Lance, you are -and I won't say this in front of the others- you are the best damn paladin there is, okay? If you don't believe it, I will convince you. You are worth everything. Lance, I need you here with me. I need your humour and your jokes and your smile. Lance, I love you. You deserve it." By now Keith had tears streaming gently down his face while Lance was sobbing quietly into his shirt, gripping the fabric as if he was going to lose himself otherwise. They stayed in this position, not moving nor stopping the tears, for hours. Each clinging onto the other as if their life depended on it, as if they needed the other like they needed air to breathe. And it was true. They fixed and healed eachother, and that was why they were together. After crying with eachother for hours, Lance had fallen asleep. Keith looked down at him, brown hair messed up and skin blotchy, and gave a terribly heart wrenchingly sad smile, then picked him up and set him on the bed. Curling Lance up against him, he closed his eyes in an attempt to get some sleep before the next day.


End file.
